i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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