Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
