I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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