i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
