just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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