yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
