Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Your penis caused this!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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