You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
