Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just had sex bonerless
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
