We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
