But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
