If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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