Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
