My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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