Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
