New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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