I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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