You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
false alarm. still invincible.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
