I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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