I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
