I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
