i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
