WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
