I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
