This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
