I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
