addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
