I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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