My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
