.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
