38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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