May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
