This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
