Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
