Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Be still, my beating vagina.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
