Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
