dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
