It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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