covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
