Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
