I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
