get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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