you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
