Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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