pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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