the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
