if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have fence marks all over my body
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
