Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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