youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
