So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
